Raindrops and Sunbeams

…thinking this is my ‘by’ week…

Posted on: February 4, 2010

Not sure at all of the spelling of ‘by’ – I’m not much of a sports fan – but what I was aiming at was the event where a team does NOT have to show up and play to keep their standings, because they did so well before – so they have a ‘by’ week, a week off, while everyone else has to play.

That’s how I feel this week! I am a bit surprised when I look back over the last two weeks – and think – I felt really very good the entire time (with temporary setbacks) – but compared to how REALLY good I am feeling this week, there’s a big difference. All in the way it’s perceived, I guess!

I have learned to take my little joys and enjoy them to the fullest. This is a lesson that lymphoma has taught me….to not always be looking beyond to the next thing…take what I have right here and right now, and savor it! Each new morning is a gift God gives me….and I get to unwrap it and add things to it to make it special. I have learned it is much better to pray for others than it is to pray for myself. Don’t get me wrong, I AM in that line….but it has become way more important to me to lift up my family, my friends, my church, and my government, and ask Jesus to heal anything that needs it, bring joy where there isn’t any, comfort where its needed, and to bring all who don’t know Him yet to His side. Somehow that puts my problems back into perspective, instead of feeling overwhelmed by them.

Had a few days last week where there was pain enough to warrant meds – but out of the little over two weeks since the first chemo, that is not bad at all! Had a couple of episodes where nausea ‘threatened’ – but again, the meds knocked that down quickly – and my body calmed down. After all I had ‘heard’ about chemo and how it makes you feel – for me (because I know it is a different experience for each person), so far..the good far outweighs the bad. I also know that may change after chemo #2, which is coming up next Tuesday – but that’s too far out to worry about now!

Best of all – this ‘by’ week of mine includes my birthday – which is today! I look at the number attached to this birthday with disbelief – for I’d have to throw out 30 of those years to get back to the age I ‘feel’ rather than the age I ‘am’! And now there’s a whole new ‘my’ year ahead of me….with a giant M&M cookie waiting to be made (my favorite treat, which I get to make….loaded with M&Ms and then eat the WHOLE thing!), we just planted all the seeds for this year’s garden, we are on the downside of cold weather, heading for spring….and everything in my shouts out ‘This is the day the Lord has made, I WILL rejoice and be glad in it!’

Life is good!

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3 Responses to "…thinking this is my ‘by’ week…"

Happy Birthday to you!!!

I’m sorry I didn’t know it was your birthday!!!! I didn’t know that you had been writing this, until tonight! I sat here and read it all, amazed and blessed to know such a wonderful woman! I remember what Lucian went through with Kathy, and how surprised we were when you came along so quickly. It was had to accept that, but we did. Then when you became part of our family, so very quickly, it was apparent that God had a plan, and it included us all! You were loved from the very first! And reading your posts has given me something that I can’t explain! I try to give glory to God in all that happens, good, bad or indifferent. You are a true inspiration to me! Seeing that it can be done, glorifying God in the hardest of times, gives me what I need to have that kind of faith! God has truly blessed us all with and through you! You are so loved, and wished the happiest of birthdays!!!! I’d like to say that we could have lunch one day, but you are always so busy, even without the Dr. appointments, that I don’t know when we’d be able to get together! But, if the good Lord wills it, it will happen!!!! I love you so much, my dear friend!!!!

Scared / Inspired

Much more work than able,
brand new lessons to learn,
starting all over full circle.
No more bridges to burn…

no more axes to grind,
no more secrets to find,

some roads left untaken,
little hopes left unshaken.

Changes that cause me to turn…
I’m scared / Inspired…
and I learn!

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