Raindrops and Sunbeams

Progress….and Upping the Ante

Posted on: February 24, 2010

Yesterday was doctor day…..the appointment that comes in between chemo treatments. This is when I ask my questions, and she lets me know what progress she sees.

The spleen continues to shrink…..it is now shrunk back to the correct side of my body….and is smaller yet than last time. This is great news, but I sensed that the doctor wasn’t as pleased as I thought she would be – no dancing around this time. Hmmmm. She asked if I were having any problems….which I’m not – at least none that I don’t already have a solution for on hand. I think she thought maybe I should be having  a little tougher time than I seem to be. I ascribe it to God and prayer, and keeping an upbeat outlook. (Easy to do when God’s on your side!)

We expressed a bit of surprise that I still have my hair – and that got her to looking at my blood counts and the chemo I have so far received. I am happy to say that the injections that are supposed to ‘kick start’ the production of both red and white blood cells are doing their jobs – and my body is responding. The counts they look at for chemo were in the ‘acceptable’ range. Low by normal standards, but ok to proceed with chemo. I have also been making a concerted effort to eat more protein and get enough rest. Everything helps, I think.

Upshot of this….next Tuesday when I go for chemo – she’s ramping up the chemo drugs. I am just fine with this, if it helps get the job done. I fear tho…that this means goodbye hair. I am still struggling with this – trying not to freak out over the prospect, and trust that the solutions available will be fine. It is definitely a ‘head’ thing – all to do with that ‘bad self image’ I have been hauling around since I was that fat pre-teen that my brother teased so unmercifully. Amazing what sticks with you through the years!

So…this week I check out the wig store….and the patterns for more cute hats I can make – and prepare for what may come. I am also praying hard that this time I do NOT have any reaction to the Rituxan….that thought is stuck in the back of my mind too…it was small last time….and this time I hope there will be none.

This is supposed to be the ‘good’ week – the one where I feel the best between chemo treatments. I notice that it is not quite as good…I am more tired, little more pain lasting just a bit longer…but all in all….definitely more sunbeams than raindrops…..and God will get me through any storms that come up (along with my dear hubby…..who is such a rock for me!).

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5 Responses to "Progress….and Upping the Ante"

So, trying to look at it from a different angle….I’ve read sometimes that when cancer patient’s hair grows back, it’s sometimes different. IF it falls out, maybe it will grow back thicker, or lighter, or darker, or something that will make you say…oh, okay…this is nice. When I see people with the head scarf, wrapped jauntily around their heads, or cute little hats, I never think, oh how silly….I always think, God bless them. I bet most people do as well. And, do go to Mama’s old wig shop if possible, not settling for a cheap one. I got two really cute ones there once when I was trying to let my gray hair grow out, that had up-to-date hair do’s and wore them to work all the time.

Keep on keeping on kiddo. Love you. C.

Trish, I think it was a good decision to go and check out the wigs. It shows your strength. Yes, I know that, ultimately, it is the strength of the Lord, but, dear sister, He has poured his strength in you and when it is needed, you will always have a reservoir from which to draw.

I believe it was the Psalmist who proclaimed, “God is the strength of my life,” and the one who said, “I will go in the strength of the Lord.”

A friend of mine once told of an upcoming operation. The night before her surgery she cried out to God, “Oh, Lord, please give me the strength to go through this!” To which He responded, “You don’t need to pray for the strength to go through this. The strength is already within you…I AM your STRENGTH.”

Many times since she shared this with me, they have been my source to get me through some rough waters. “The strength is within you. I am your strength!”

May HIS strength carry you through every moment of every day.

Trish, thank you for sharing your journey. You are such an inspiration to so many!

Gemini

Restless souls like rolling thunder
spread across the evening sky,
have no place to sit and wonder
just to roll the plains and die.

Joyful souls like misty showers
spread across the evening plains,
soaking trees and fields and flowers
with life infusing gentle rains.

Trish, YOU are the joyfull soul!!

Larry,
That is quite the nicest thing I’ve heard in days….and how I like it! Kinda like the mental image I get of ‘joyful soul’….thank you for that!!

Trish

PS I really love your poems.. Word pictures for the heart!

    
trysh@cox.net
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http://trish-studio214.blogspot.com/
https://raindropsnsunbeams.wordpress.com/
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Those who were dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music……………………………………Freiderich Neitzche

Trish,
Thanks for the comments. I have copies of my two earlier chapbooks of poetry,”Purging the Branch” and “LOVE: And Other Feelings”, if you get tired of books and magazines while you take your treatments. Good thing about Poetry is, you can read them and re-read them without a NEED to finish them. You just lay them down between and pick them up again anytime it’s convenient! Just let me know. Later, Larry

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